well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
