Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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