Did you just see the Batmobile???
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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