so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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