Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
