Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
