I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
this boner is exhausting
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
