I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize