Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
