About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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