Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
