I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
