I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
