What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My ATM looks so different sober.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
