She is in my trunk
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
