I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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