Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's official drugs can't kill me
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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