Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
