Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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