I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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