Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
