look no pants
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
