You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I made him laugh his dick is mine
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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