Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
