peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
