you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Enjoy the penises
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
