my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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