i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
