She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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