Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
