no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
