I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
