I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
