Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
