we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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