I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
