Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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