just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
