i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
