I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
