My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She even gives head with a lisp.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
