you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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