He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
