ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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