so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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