Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
