Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
