You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
