I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
