Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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