You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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